Grandparenthood

I saw a meme recently that showed a grandfather holding his grandchild. It was captioned something like, “grandchildren allow grandparents to relive the joys of their children’s childhood.”

I’ve been trying for almost a year now, 9 months to be exact, to capture the essence of grandparenthood for me. The process has made me rethink my relationship with my own grandparents, with my husband’s parents (the only grandparents my children knew) and my changing relationship with my daughter. It’s been difficult for me. And wonderful at the same time.

Our sweet Reidy is 9 months old yesterday. He has changed our lives, narrowed our focus, in many ways like the arrival of our own children did. The difference, of course, is that we don’t make the decisions. We don’t make the rules, worry over the finances, or freak out over his poop schedule. We are not woken up in the middle of the night by a screaming baby, and we are not functionally sleep deprived. And, starkly, we are very aware that we won’t be here forever.

I don’t remember thinking about our mortality when our children were young. The day to day was so overwhelming that thought of the future simply didn’t have space to fill. But experience has taught us that life is short. So, we are simply enjoying this journey, of our grandson and of our daughter and our son-in-law. That’s the difference, I think, between parenthood and grandparenthood. We’re not so much reliving the past. Instead, we are enjoying those things we missed the first time around – spending hours playing on the floor, watching in awe as Reidy is learning each new skill, breathing in his sweet baby smell, relishing every little hug, every sweet smile, every roll and pudge of his perfect little self, even his stinky farts and diapers, because these are the simple sweet joys of loving on a grandchild, of pouring into this child without worrying about all of those things we worried about as parents.

The growth of my daughter, from self-absorbed young adult to responsible and loving parent has been nothing short of remarkable. Even my sons have grown up exponentially in the past 9 months. It’s true that babies bring families together, a point so bright that it draws attention from everything else, narrowing our focus down to a new beginning, a common joy.

Grandparenting is a gift, perhaps the greatest life has to offer, the opportunity to simply enjoy a life unfolding.