Peace

There are things we feel that we struggle to find the words to describe. But I have to try.

Siblings don’t always get along. My brothers and sister and I have not always seen eye to eye. There have been times when we have gone a very long time without speaking or really seeing each other. As kids, we argued. My God, we argued! Fought. Tormented each other.

My kids are no different. They are all so different from each other, and they know how to get under each other’s skin, as only siblings can.

For me, what I have always hoped for, prayed for, is that my children have each other. Throughout their lives. To reconnect with. To reminisce with. To share the parts of themselves that only siblings can understand. It is a wish I have held since each of them was born, and I continue to hold that close to my heart.

So tonight as my children cooked together, ate together, simply shared a word (or a joke at my expense!), I felt peace. That is the best way to describe it, I think. Peace as I watched them connect, create a memory, forgive a past.

In a group chat with my own siblings earlier this evening, I said that I wished we were all together for this holiday. We haven’t been since we were very very young. And, I do wish just that, for we have come quite far from the days of torment and tattling and general sibling mayhem. We are now the people we love the most (perhaps we always have been), and we work hard to see each other and keep in touch.

I think that my children are moving in the right direction.

In this very challenging year that we have had, I see that John and Natalie and Charlie have all grown, not only up but also closer. Honestly, that is worth all of the challenges we’ve been through. The simple pleasure of seeing my children together and connecting.