I’m a fixer. I like to fix things, solve problems, troubleshoot, all good traits in an employee, an employer, an event planner, a fundraiser, but not always good in a parent.
I’m also a pretty good listener, and people love to talk to me, to share their problems, to share their ideas, concerns, dreams and goals. I’m a great audience as I forget most of what I’m told, not intentionally. I just have a very bad memory
With my kids, I’ve always tried to be a fixer. I always assume that if they are talking to me, they are looking for advice. But they’re not.
Our kids talk with us because they need to share. They need a non-judgemental ear. They need our strength. They need to know we can take what they say and carry it for them as though weightless. Without judgement. Without fear. Without anger. Without advice.
As it turns out, our kids just need an ear sometimes. Oftentimes. No fixing. No judging. Just empathy. Just unconditional love. Just to be present. Just a Mom.